An oldie but goodie

Since I’m unable to post anything too detailed right now due to lack of time, I thought I’d share an old email that I sent a friend over two years ago.  Quick background:

I had just met Chris at a party the Saturday before the below occurred and was, within 12 hrs, convinced I was going to marry him.   I also explained to the same friend, earlier in the week, that when he kissed me he had awoken the sleeping beast inside me as I hadn’t felt a physical or emotional connection with anyone in so long that I thought I was dead inside.

Chris and I had exchanged numbers but I hadn’t heard from  him all week, and not wanting to appear the desperate girl, decided to hold out and wait for him.  We then ran into each other at a bar that Friday.  I hadn’t seen or talked to him since the night we met.  The following ensues, as detailed in the email:

Name/identifying characteristics have been changed.

From: Me

To: You

Date: 5/29/07

Sorry I haven’t had a chance to call, Laura was in town for my b-day so I didn’t have a chance to call/e-mail people.  Thank you so much for the present, the pics are adorable and the “KISS ME  IT’S MY BIRTHDAY” pin was hilarious, though I didn’t wind up wearing it out as Chris, the same guy who woke the beast, also managed to kill the beast on Friday night, indefinitely, (and of course didn’t come out for my birthday).

Here’s what happened: After I got off the phone with you I called my roommate and she told me to meet her at a bar called Nick’s or something…I’m not really sure.  So I get there and she is there with her friend Alexis who I’ve met before and knows I made out with Chris.  So I am already hammered and start drinking beer.  Not long after my arrival Chris gets to the bar and I am THRILLED.   It starts to get hazy now but the following events happen (though not necessarily in this order):

1 — I text message Chris (even though he is sitting across the table from me): lets make out (he kind of laughs)
2 — Chris and my roomie both get up to go to the bathroom at the same time and while they are gone  I tell Alexis I have a huge crush on Chris (can’t remember her response)
3 — Chris and Alexis exchange numbers in front of me
4 — Chris asks me what I am doing later — I say going home, want to come with me?  He says no b/c then we’ll do bad things. I say bad things are fun. He says something like yeah but we shouldn’t do those bad things (again I am hammered so don’t remember the exact conversation but it didn’t last long since I basically asked him to sleep with me and he said no, I dropped it)
5 — I knock over my beer
6 — I throw up
7 — We get up from the table to go to the back of the bar with a dance floor.  Chris stays at the table to watch the Dodgers game…Alexis leaves to “go to the bathroom..”  After a while I go to find her (actually to chip in for the beer, also to confirm my suspicions that she’s not in the bathroom)
8 — go back to the main area of the bar, see her and Chris sitting side by side in the booth alone and talking
9 — tell my roomie I am leaving b/c I feel sick, get in a cab and go home, crying the whole way

Today I see the following comment from Alexis on my roomie’s Facebook page, which she left on Saturday: thanks for being a good friend last night! Booze + crappy situation = tears.

I have no idea what the f that means…

She’s an evil man stealing wench.

So, as you can see, the situation went pretty south pretty quickly.  It turns out nothing happened between Chris & Alexis, but the whole thing was just a drop in the bucket in terms of all the hurtful things he would do to me over the ensuing two years.  Yes, I wasn’t smart enough to realize he was a jerk after that.  It took something much, much worse for me to realize that.  But, we’ll save that for another day.

It all started when…

Actually, I’m not entirely sure when it started.  Somewhere in between moving more times than I can count and trying to fabricate a career in sports that I then decided I no longer wanted, I forgot to date anyone seriously.  So here I am, ten years out of high school and the two most significant relationships I’ve had have been based on lies and delusions (mostly mine).  My friends and I are sick of dealing with the games and hurt.   These guys are all leaving for one reason or another and aren’t even with other people.  They’ve just decided being alone is better, which is complete bullshit.  All my friends are wonderful, caring, funny, brilliant and beautiful.  But we have the one who has decided to move across the international date line, the one who can’t commit, the one who never wants to commit, the one who acts like a child, etc etc etc.  It is hard enough to be in your 20s, trying to establish yourself, find a place to settle, be an adult, pay bills, but when you add these jackasses on top of all the normal adult responsibilities, it makes this girl want to flee to Hawaii and work as a bartender at the Four Seasons for the rest of my life, sulking at all the newlyweds and people happier than I am.

Some people my age have already been divorced.  So you have to question the legitimacy of marriage these days.  But then I look at my sister, who is very happy in her marriage and works at it and together with her husband makes it successful.  On the opposite end is the friend who got married in October and was separated by New Years.

So here’s to our tales of dating, past & present.