More confusion

The Vampire emailed me a week ago, not to ask why I’d deleted him as a friend on Facebook, but instead to tell me he finally found my DVD of Match Point (by the way, great movie and I highly recommend it) that he’s had for a year and a half and asked how I’d like to get it back from him.  I responded asking if we could meet for coffee, figuring I could get my movie back and explain in person that I wasn’t mad or upset at him, it just seems obvious that we can’t be friends (in the true sense of the word) so we might as well cut ties.  That was a week ago, and I haven’t heard back from him.  I’m assuming it is because he subsequently noticed we were no longer FB friends and decided I was a crazy bitch that he wanted nothing to do with.  Because I can’t think of another reason he would initiate an email and then not follow through on something as simple as meeting me for coffee to return something of mine he’s had since September of 2008.

I am kind of bummed because I had this entire speech planned that sounded amazing and logical and would appease him of any guilt.  I mean, he doesn’t need to feel guilty for having a girlfriend, only for how he’s treated me in the past, but since we’re not going to be friends anymore, he therefore doesn’t have to feel bad about it (if he even still did, which is debatable).

On top of all of this – I had made a recent comment to my friend in Atlanta, we’ll call him OSU, about how Ken Dorsey was the love of my life (obviously joking since I’ve never met the kid – it was just when I was going through my tall, skinny, QB phase).  He then made some comment about how OSU killed him in the ’03 Fiesta Bowl, to which I responded asking he kindly never bring up that game again.  A couple nights later he texts me, “just so you know, they call me Ken Dorsey.”  Really??  Really?  You’re seriously telling me this?  I mean…sure, he was probably joking, but why go there?  My first reaction was, “is he trying to tell me something else?”  Surely he wouldn’t tell me via text that he wants to be the love of my life, nor can he be since I’m pretty sure he’s dating someone.  But, it was just an odd thing to say, and I really wasn’t sure how to react OR respond.  So, after careful consideration, I responded with, “does that mean I get to sack you?”  Annnnd….nothing.  That’s right.  That got no response.

I give up.

Cutting Ties

I consider myself to be a forgiving person, but sometimes you just have to cut ties.  I’ve already tried doing this once with the Vampire.  Last January, in an effort to purge my life of people who didn’t deserve to be in it, I defriended him, The One, and the other one I haven’t really talked about yet from Facebook.  Twenty minutes later, the Vampire messages me on FBook asking if he’d pissed me off.  And I didn’t respond.  He tried texting me as well.  For a few weeks I refused to respond to him, and then when he emailed me begging for an explanation, I gave it to him: I was tired of him hurting me, apologizing, and then hurting me again.  He apologized and that was that.  I don’t think I saw him for a while after that.  I think he asked me to have drinks to “clear the air” (again) and we managed to salvage some sort of friendship.  He came to my birthday party last year and then I added him back as a friend on Facebook (meanwhile the other two didn’t notice I’d deleted them because they couldn’t care less but I digress).

Anyway.  As I  mentioned in a different post, I met the Vampire’s girlfriend recently and thought she was awesome.  So, I added her as a friend on Facebook and she accepted.  Simple as that.

Except…not so much.  Last week he told me he thought it was “weird given our history” that I’d added her as a friend – even though history means it is in the past so who cares?  I guess he did.  I told him we should just pretend everything between us never happened (and I have no clue what he told her about “us”) and he agreed.  Then, all of a sudden, I notice my friend count goes down.  Confirming my suspicion, I went to Vampiress’ page to see she’d deleted me as a friend.  I can only imagine he told her it made him uncomfortable or said something equally as bad about me.  So I went to his page and deleted him (yes, this feels all very 7th-grade-y to me and he just turned 30) as a friend.  This time, there was no message.  I am sure he hasn’t noticed.  But if he asks, my explanation will be simple: if you don’t think she should be friends with me, why do you get to be?

Ramblings

One of the problems with social networking sites such as Facebook is that often times you find things you wouldn’t want to know that you weren’t even looking for.  For example:  I logged on to Facebook earlier to find that Chris is attending the birthday parties of one of our mutual friends.  I was not invited.  This part does not upset me because we haven’t really hung out that much before and I’m not sure that I even LIKE her, specifically because I know she’s slept with Chris but I have no idea when it was (though it was probably pre-me).  What upsets me is that Chris doesn’t even KNOW when my birthday is and has NEVER been to one of my parties, even though I’ve invited him every year that I’ve know him.  So my problem of course is that he bangs her once and now they’re friends but I go through two years of hell with him and he can’t even speak to me?  Like literally will not look me in the eye but has no problem going to whatshername’s birthday.  I clearly don’t exist, otherwise surely he would not have spent ten minutes detailing to the group his New Year’s hook up, in front of me, back in January, when I had to see him in order to see mutual friends visiting from out of town.  That was loads of fun.  And he wouldn’t talk to me or look me in the eye even though I hadn’t seen him in three months and our last encounter included him telling me how lonely he was in his new condo and that he masturbated all the time as a result.  Which falls under the “too much info/I’m testing the waters” umbrella of torture.

Luckily I defriended him on Facebook a long time ago otherwise I’m sure I’d see more upsetting things.

I think I’m making progress though.  A year ago, I would have made up some bullshit excuse as to why I HAD to be at the party, I would have then proceeded to invite myself and it would have likely ended in disaster as so many parties with us there have.  This year though, I am uninterested in attending.  And really.  That’s huge.